I am not a very touchy-feely lady. Ask my husband and he will tell you I need work in the random affection department.
It's not that I came from a loveless home. On the contrary - my mother - 'the granny', is VERY affectionate, loving, wonderful. Yes - I have one of those mothers that people in therapy wish for. I am very lucky. So, I don't know where my lack of random affection comes from. I don't even really like hugging people I know very much. My BFF is a random affection expert. She would hug a total stranger if given the chace. In fact, we were once walking to the pool in her complex and she started having this very friendly conversation with a woman on her balcony, asking her where she got her shirt. They had this 10 minute conversation about China and shopping in Shanghai and this woman told my BFF to just let her know what size she wanted and she would pick her up one. So I asked BFF 'how long have you know that lady?" BFF - "Oh I don't know her, that is the first time I have talked to her."
It's not that I came from a loveless home. On the contrary - my mother - 'the granny', is VERY affectionate, loving, wonderful. Yes - I have one of those mothers that people in therapy wish for. I am very lucky. So, I don't know where my lack of random affection comes from. I don't even really like hugging people I know very much. My BFF is a random affection expert. She would hug a total stranger if given the chace. In fact, we were once walking to the pool in her complex and she started having this very friendly conversation with a woman on her balcony, asking her where she got her shirt. They had this 10 minute conversation about China and shopping in Shanghai and this woman told my BFF to just let her know what size she wanted and she would pick her up one. So I asked BFF 'how long have you know that lady?" BFF - "Oh I don't know her, that is the first time I have talked to her."
Are you kidding me? Anyway, the point is she is very friendly and people love her. I love her too. But unlike BFF, I have a little wall (a crumbling wall) that keeps me a bit distant from people.
Onward ... this AM when putting E into the car seat, he looked at me and said "I love you SO much." Tears. Large, sloppy, bouncing tears rolled down my cheeks. Then he said "It's OK Mum. I love you."
Every day should be started this way. Every day someone should tell you they love you so much that they can't live without you or that you are their light and love. I have two great loves in my life and I know I am very lucky to have found my own personal heaven right here in our little blowling alley of a towhouse with a postage stamp yard. So I will keep trying to be more randomly affectionate with husband because I need him to know I do love him more than my new red suede shoes (which are truly spectacular)
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