This woman is so happy

Her husband bought her diamonds ... do you know why he can buy her diamonds ... because she is a VICE PRESIDENT! I am only a "Director" so I only get rubber gloves and an apron so I can get back to that house work after my 8 hours in the office. (No husband ... this is not a testimony agaisnt you ... just against 70s advertising)

Natural History Museum holiday gifts

I am not a crazy environmentalist 
I still use some plastic bags and aerosol hairspray is the only thing that keeps this unruly hair in any kind of style ... but I really like this coffee mug >> Natural History Museum holiday gifts

gush ... my heart melted this morning.

I am not a very touchy-feely lady. Ask my husband and he will tell you I need work in the random affection department. 

It's not that I came from a loveless home. On the contrary - my mother - 'the granny', is VERY affectionate, loving, wonderful. Yes - I have one of those mothers that people in therapy wish for. I am very lucky. So, I don't know where my lack of random affection comes from. I don't even really like hugging people I know very much. My BFF is a random affection expert. She would hug a total stranger if given the chace. In fact, we were once walking to the pool in her complex and she started having this very friendly conversation with a woman on her balcony, asking her where she got her shirt. They had this 10 minute conversation about China and shopping in Shanghai and this woman told my BFF to just let her know what size she wanted and she would pick her up one. So I asked BFF 'how long have you know that lady?" BFF - "Oh I don't know her, that is the first time I have talked to her."

Are you kidding me? Anyway, the point is she is very friendly and people love her. I love her too. But unlike BFF, I have a little wall (a crumbling wall) that keeps me a bit distant from people.

Onward ... this AM when putting E into the car seat, he looked at me and said "I love you SO much." Tears. Large, sloppy, bouncing tears rolled down my cheeks. Then he said "It's OK Mum. I love you."

Every day should be started this way. Every day someone should tell you they love you so much that they can't live without you or that you are their light and love. I have two great loves in my life and I know I am very lucky to have found my own personal heaven right here in our little blowling alley of a towhouse with a postage stamp yard. So I will keep trying to be more randomly affectionate with husband because I need him to know I do love him more than my new red suede shoes (which are truly spectacular)

Cousins make good babysitters

Husband and I went out for a coffee and left little E with his cousin Chrissy. Beautiful, sweet, talented and 21 year old Chrissy. Chrissy is my niece. I remember the day she was born. I was 16. She was adorable and the most gorgeous yet precocious child on the planet. She had this amazing long blond hair and loved to wear dresses. She would fly down the stairs and jump into my arms when I babysat. Her mom used to pay me $20 to watch her. 

Ooops. Was I supposed to pay Chrissy tonite?

When she was about 8 or 9 everything was 'like Aunty". I would take her and her sister Bobbie to plays and she would call and ask me what I was wearing so we could match. She took up competitive swimming (just like Aunty). Precious right?

E is enamored with his Cousin. She walks on water. He thinks she is beautiful and gazes at her with those bashful boy eyes and long eyelashes. 

It has taken me 2 and a half years to have Chrissy come over and put E to bed. Not because we don't trust her but because we don't really do anything. Some people may think that is sad. I don't. We have so little time with E where he is all ours. Right now we don't compete with anyone. We are his one and only.

At some point E will want to hang at other people's houses ... eat their food ... stay overnight at their houses. A year ago if you would have asked me I would have told you that I couldn't wait for that to happen - something about needing a break or time to myself. But lately, I don't feel like I need that time as much. 

My family is my hope. My dreams. My aspiration. My loves. 

But tomorrow night I get to go out with Miss Cori - fab BFF of all time - my soul sista. She is giving me the gift of the 'sleep in' - a rare treat. So while I will love my time with her and assure you, 'me time' is needed, I have come to realize that what I need is the right kind of  'me time' - not just any time. It has to be well spent with the right people doing the things I love. Not just getting out for the sake of getting somewhere. 

Somewhere can be nowhere if you don't want to be there in the first place.

37

Today is my 37th birthday.I am almost as old as my mother was when she had me and my grandmother when she had my mother. Somehow the lyrics to Dante's Prayer seem to cross my mind every November 12th.

When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and the fire

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart

Lift this mortal veil of fear

Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears

We'll rise above these earthly cares

MOM

I invited my mom, to read my blog.

Reality check for Mom:

• I swear
• I am a bit bitchy
• I like to vent
• I am more like my father than I like to admit

Not Smoking

This not smoking thing is hard. Harder than I thought. I am going nuts. NUTS YOU HEAR ME?

Husband is still smoking and I don't blame him. Surgery on the knee is harder than not smoking. So smoke he may for another week.

It would be easier to quit smoking if I didn't have a stressful job. But stressful job = good pay cheque so stressed I will be.

(This is where husband should stop reading)

Secretly I love to hate my job  I guess I am a bit of a masachist. Who knew?

Appropriate Behaviour (behavior if you are American)

E goes to daycare. A lovely home decor run by a lovely woman in a lovely home in a lovely neighborhood. There is a not so lovely woman who also lives in the lovely home who clearly has had an unlovely life.

When I pick up my son I like to park in the driveway so I don't have to take a toddler across the street to get into the car. This is also helpful when it is raining.

Today, and a few times in the past, this woman has confronted me by saying "you are  blocking me in AGAIN." She then said "if SHE wants to stay in the house and chat, then SHE should park on the street.

First, I am am not SHE. I have a name.

Second, I was not chatting. If anyone has tried to get a toddler out of anywhere there are a few steps. First, get lunchbox. Then collect shoes. Put on shoes. Then find coat. Put on coat. Finally, praise child for peeing on the potty at daycare. A big accomplishment.

Today this confrontation escalated into me saying some very not lovely things. In front of my son who then proceeded to cry and scream. Thanks lady.

Here is how I see things. If you live in a house that has daycare, and daycare pick up is between 4:30 and 5:30, why do you find it amazing that people might be parking in your driveway?

I am not going to make the situation difficult on the lovely daycare lady. We love daycare lady. E loves daycare lady.

My issue with this situation is how I was talked to. I don't like rude people. I don't like unhappy people. I especially don't like it when unhappy people put their rude attitude all over me and my child.

So - from now on I will park on the street. Unhappy, rude, unlovely lady better not speak to me again. My evil, side, known as NINA to many, would have a hard time not letting loose on this woman. But for the sake of my son, whom I need to show the right and wrong ways of the world, I will be polite, as I can be.

So now I am going to cook dinner and try to relax. Thanks lady for the perfect ending to what started off as a pretty good day. 

Coffee Shops

First, I am not putting down coffee shop workers. This is more of an observation that a criticism ... well maybe a slight criticism. YOUR JOB ISN'T HARD. You are not saving babies, you are not fixing the environment, you are not dealing in high finance. You serve coffee. Granted, some orders are complicated and require some brain power but seriously, how hard it is to remember a basic coffee order.

Today at SixBucks I ordered 2 coffees. Those of you with average IQ will follow along with this OK.

ME: "I want one tall dark in a grande cup and 1 tall mild in a grande cup."

Barrista Joe: "that will be $1.75"

ME: "Did you get both coffees?"

Barrista Joe: "You ordered 2 coffees?"

ME: "I want one tall dark in a grande cup and 1 tall mild in a grande cup."
Barrista Joe: "You want 2 more coffees?"

ME: "Are you freaking kidding me. How do you not get what I am saying. Have you had YOUR coffee today. Would it help if I had long flowing auburn hair and was a size 6? What about a low cut top? Would you pay attention then? What about it I flashed my boobs at you?"

Ok - none of this was actually said out loud. But it could have been if I was drunk or even slightly pissed off. But today was a good day so I was feeling relatively neutral toward stupid people.

PS  - Jens just told me a Pteranodon is actually a reptile not a dinosaur just in case you were wondering.